Mark Lewis: Mutism isn’t a compassionate option either; silence can be mistaken for a figurative shrug of aloofness
Mark Lewis shared a post on X:
“Whenever a patient dies & I find myself dumbstruck, I quote to the mourning family President Lincoln’s remarkable, timeless letter to Mrs. Bixby:
‘I feel how weak & fruitless must be any words of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming.’
For me, I’m not sure anyone else has better expressed the sense of tongue-tied inadequacy which comes with conveying condolences in a manner that doesn’t sound trite
But mutism isn’t a compassionate option either; silence can be mistaken for a figurative shrug of aloofness.
So while I do understand the readymade appeal of a Hallmark card’s professional word-smithing, I think it’s also meaningful to express — however clumsily — a genuine sentiment from the heart.
The stages of grief are well-described, of course, but few people ever warned me just how very *lonely* it can feel
So unburden yourself of the pressure to say “the right thing” (you can’t) & try not to leave even the inarticulate unsaid
It is, indeed, the thought that counts.”
Source: Mark Lewis/X
Mark A. Lewis is the Director of Gastrointestinal Oncology at Intermountain Healthcare in Utah, the Co-Chair of adolescent and young adult (AYA) oncology in the SWOG cooperative group, and the Vice President of American Multiple Endocrine Neoplasia Support.
Dr. Lewis is also a well-known patient advocate and social media influencer. His interests are neuroendocrine tumors and cancer syndromes.
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