Gloria Chinyere Okwu, Senior Information Officer at National Institute for Cancer Research and Treatment, Cancer Survivor, shared on LinkedIn:
“A cancer patient has too many battles. From limited access to care, to the physical and mental illness triggered by the medicines supposed to treat you, to stigma, to daily grief of a life that would have been and then to healthy people who expect you to look a certain way.
Let me explain.
‘You don’t look sick at all’ might sound ordinary until the person withdraws, gives you attitude or starts doubting your diagnosis. Imagine not buying a skirt you love for fear of looking well and not attracting enough sympathy.
Imagine not posting your wins because you are afraid your helper might feel threatened and withdraw.
Imagine not giving your best at what you do because… people, people, people!
I thought it would be great to see a patient looking great despite their diagnosis. I thought you would love to see someone whose chemo you just paid looking alive and being useful. If you were supporting a patient yet goes into a fit because they don’t look sick, please tell me what your real objective is…
I remember my friend of blessed memory telling me to dress poor and indigent to access a certain fund in 2022. I blatantly refused. I will not descend into a certain bleakness for cancer sake. My sanity, dignity and self confidence are already at risk, I will not trade what is left of it to attract sympathy. I got the support dressed in my decent, ironed dress.
Some patients are becoming hermits as a result-wary of people watching in the shadows and withdrawing support. I have experienced it and shook me to my core.
Please a person can be sick and look well. A cancer patient can go straight from chemo to a board meeting. We can travel and make meaningful connections. If we are not dead, then we have to live; despite the enormous amount of work existing has become. We want to make impact, achieve our goals and do it in a fine wig. We also deserve the fine things. We want to make up and have colourful nails while on medication.
Please stop the subtle stigma. Keep supporting patients if you can afford to. Don’t abandon someone suddenly because they travelled to Germany. We are mostly funded and trust me, the funds are hardly enough.”
You can also read: Lessons from ESMO Congress 2026: Elizabeth Awo-Ejeh on Equity and Patient Advocacy
