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Olubukola Ayodele: The First Session of Day 2 of the Secondary Breast Cancer Patient Summit

Olubukola Ayodele/LinkedIn

Jun 18, 2025, 06:41

Olubukola Ayodele: The First Session of Day 2 of the Secondary Breast Cancer Patient Summit

Olubukola Ayodele, Consultant Medical Oncologist at the University Hospitals of Leicester NHS Trust, shared a post on LinkedIn:

“The first session this morning on Day 2 of the Secondary Breast Cancer Patient Summit in Liverpool was on ‘Family Life and Metastatic Breast Cancer: Talking, Coping and Making Memories’, sponsored by Gilead Sciences UK and Ireland.

It focused on a deeply personal but often avoided topic, ‘how to talk to children about secondary breast cancer and death’.

This is never an easy conversation. There’s no script. But the key messages were clear: honesty, simplicity, and love.

Children, no matter their age, sense when something serious is happening. Avoiding the conversation can sometimes lead to more anxiety.

Some of thoughtful advice shared by the panel and people in the room were:

Using clear, age-appropriate language.

Be honest, but reassuring. It’s okay to say you don’t have all the answers, but also offer comfort: “We’re going to keep spending time together, and I’ll always make sure you’re looked after.”

Let children guide the pace. They may ask the same question more than once, or they may go play as soon as the conversation ends. Both are normal.

Acknowledge all feelings. Let them know it’s okay to feel sad, angry, scared or even not want to talk right away.

Make memories intentionally. Whether it’s drawing together, telling stories, or making a memory box, these small actions can become lasting sources of comfort for a child.

Gilead has launched a book called ‘The Adventure Jar’ endorsed by Make 2nds Count that helps with talking to children about cancer and helping to create memories. I think this is a laudable initiative and should be adopted by many support groups.

What struck me most was the message that children don’t need perfect words. They need presence, honesty, and security.

These are incredibly hard conversations but they also create space for connection, trust, and even joy during uncertain times.

Caring for people with metastatic breast cancer is not just about treatments. It’s about the full picture of their lives, their children, their families, their memories.

Thank you to the panelists: Sarah Adomah, Sarah McDiarmid, and Tariro Kabba.”