Sachin Jain, President and CEO of SCAN Group and Health Plan, shared on LinkedIn:
“A couple of times over the last few years, I’ve found myself saying something to people I care about, in the context of mentorship and friendship:
‘I have to accept that what I want for you and what you want for you are different things.’
It’s a hard thing to say. And maybe an even harder thing to actually accept.
When you mentor someone, you inevitably develop hopes for them. You see their talent. You see opportunities they might not see. You imagine what they could become. Sometimes you make introductions, open doors, offer advice, push. And somewhere along the way, it’s easy to cross an invisible line.
You stop helping someone pursue their ambitions and start wanting them to pursue yours. Maybe you want the bigger job for them. Maybe they don’t. Maybe you want them to take the risk. Maybe they value stability. Maybe you see unrealized potential. Maybe they see a life they actually like.
Good mentorship requires pushing people. But I’m increasingly convinced it also requires knowing when to stop pushing. The people we mentor don’t owe us the maximization of their potential as we define it. They don’t owe us a return on the introductions we made, the time we invested, or the opportunities we helped create.
Sometimes the most respectful thing you can do is acknowledge: I may want something different for you than you want for yourself. And it’s your life, not mine.
I’m still learning that one.”
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