Voices

Douglas Flora

Sep 3, 2025, 08:06

Douglas Flora: What it’s Like to Be a Cancer Patient – Leaves, Branches, and Roots

Douglas Flora, President-Elect at Association of Cancer Care Centers, shared on LinkedIn:

“What it’s like to be a cancer patient: leaves, branches, and roots

“Some friendships are like trees. There are leaves, branches, and roots. The roots are the most important part because they hold up the tree.” – Tyler Perry

I saw a great post from my favorite LI follow, Sahil Bloom last night, and it immediately resonated with my own experience. He was sharing Tyler Perry‘s simple but powerful metaphor for friendships: leaves, branches, and roots. Sahil’s description was so spot-on that it took me back to my own cancer journey almost a decade ago. It’s a great way to think about how we can support our patients through their own challenges.

For those unfamiliar with the metaphor, here is a quick breakdown.
Leaves are the people who are only around when the weather is good. They are fair-weather friends who bring a little joy, but when the seasons change, they blow away with the wind. The leaves in my life were the friends who, as soon as my diagnosis arrived, simply vanished. Some of those friendships had been long-standing, and their disappearance hurt. They didn’t want to deal with the reality of my having cancer, and they just disappeared. I’m okay now, but the pain of that loss lingers a little, a quiet echo of a tough time.

Branches are a bit stronger. They’re more stable than the leaves, but they can still break under pressure. These were the friends who tried to be supportive, but the weight of my illness was too much for them. They’d show up once or twice, but they couldn’t handle the long-term emotional demands. They meant well, but they couldn’t hold me up when I really needed them.

And then there are the roots. These are the people who are permanent. They are deep and wide and they hold you up no matter what. My roots showed up consistently, without me even having to ask. They were a steady presence in the chaos.

Every day, our patients are figuring out who the leaves, branches, and roots are in their lives. They are facing the hardest challenge of their lives, and the people around them will either provide strength or add to their burden. For many, that’s an emotional journey as difficult as the physical one.

So, to all the oncologists and healthcare leaders out there, let’s remember that our patients’ support systems are just as critical as the treatments we give them. When you are talking with them, take a moment to understand their personal ecosystem. Is their family supportive? Do they have a friend who can drive them to chemo? These things matter immensely.

And for all of you who are younger and navigating your own friendships, take heed: invest in your roots. These are the people you’ll be glad to have when the storms of life arrive.

Thank you, Sahil Bloom, for the inspiration. I also ordered your book on Amazon last night and cannot wait to read it. I wanted to make sure Oncology people read this, so I moved your carousel in, but wanted to give full credit here for your great images and post.”

Douglas Flora