Miriam Mutebi: Patient’s story of heartbreak and rejection

Miriam Mutebi, Assistant Professor in the Department of Surgery at the Aga Khan University Hospital in Nairobi, reshared a post on LinkedIn by AORTIC- Africa adding:

“We rarely imagine waking up one morning, stepping into the shower or bath, and, in our most vulnerable moment of solitude, discovering a lump in our breast.

That was Martha’s story (not her real name).

Of heartbreak and rejection.

When Martha first felt the lump, fear gripped her. Four months later, it had grown alarmingly, but she kept it to herself, worried about how her husband would react.

By the time she found the courage to share her condition, the lump had become the size of a small football.

The diagnosis required a mastectomy – a life-saving procedure. But her husband, clinging to outdated beliefs, forbade her from undergoing the surgery.

With no financial independence or family support, Martha felt she had no choice but to comply.

Eventually, her health deteriorated, and her husband abandoned her. Martha spent her final days in the care of a local hospice, surrounded by the compassion she lacked at home.

In many African communities, the conversation around breast cancer, our breasts, and our body image remains fraught with unrealistic standards, a culture of silence, and societal pressures.

The idea of an “ideal” breast is influenced by traditions, media portrayals, and personal experiences.

Some admire larger breasts for their association with fertility and femininity, while others may celebrate smaller sizes as symbols of youth and vitality. To have life-and-death choices made for you based on vanity metrics is devastating for many women out there.

We already know that breasts, small, large, or somewhere in between, are perfect just the way they are, but we still need reminders that confidence and self-acceptance are vital components of breast health.

Additionally, as a society, we need to normalize conversations about breast health, but also critically look at our perception of a woman’s worth in a community and not just reduce her to the sum of their parts.

We need to give women more agency over their bodies and finances, and more importantly, empower them to make more informed health decisions.
This could potentially avoid Martha-like situations.

→ So ladies let’s go for that screening, keep up the self-examination–especially if you are in your 40s+, and surround yourself with supportive voices that remind you that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, with or without a breast.

Repost if you agree.”

Miriam Mutebi is a Breast Surgical Oncologist and Assistant Professor in the Department of Surgery at the Aga Khan University Hospital in Nairobi, Kenya. She is the President of the African Organization for Research and Training in Cancer (AORTIC), and past president for Kenya Society of Hematology and Oncology (KESHO) and on the Board of Directors of the Union for International Cancer Control (UICC).

She is the co-founder of the Pan African Women’s Association of Surgeons and is part of the Kenya Association of Women Surgeons. She is an avid supporter for the education and support for women, especially in surgery and she aims to provide mentorship for women in surgery and to improve women’s health and surgical care in Africa. She is currently pursuing a pilot’s license in order to extend breast care services to marginalized areas.