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Olubukola Ayodele Reflects on End-of-Life Conversations in Oncology

Olubukola Ayodele/LinkedIn

May 6, 2025, 09:29

Olubukola Ayodele Reflects on End-of-Life Conversations in Oncology

Olubukola Ayodele, Consultant Medical Oncologist at the University Hospitals of Leicester NHS Trust, posted on LinkedIn:

“In the last two weeks, I have said goodbye to two remarkable women, both of whom were breast cancer patients whose lives I had the privilege of being part of. This experience has been particularly difficult for me because both losses happened very quickly and somewhat unexpectedly.

The first woman had received a diagnosis of metastatic triple-negative breast cancer three and a half years ago. She hailed from Donegal, a place very close to my heart, where my journey in oncology began. The second woman was a stalwart advocate in the black community. After completing curative treatment two years ago, she faced the heartbreaking news of brain-only disease.

Despite the advances we’ve made in cancer care, there are moments when medicine reaches its limits, leaving us to walk alongside patients and their families through the hardest moments of all: DYING.

These experiences never get easier, nor should they. However, they remind me of something crucial: we are not engaging in enough open, honest conversations about death, dying, and the grieving process.

In cancer care, much of our focus is rightly on treatment, cure and survival. But we must also honour the other side of the journey. It’s essential to ensure that when a cure is no longer possible, patients have access to compassionate, holistic end-of-life care that respects their dignity, values and choices.

Talking about death is not about giving up. It’s about:

Empowering patients to make informed decisions about their care.
Ensuring comfort, peace and meaning in their final days.
Supporting families in their grief and beyond.
Normalizing the conversation so that fear and taboo do not cloud these crucial discussions.

The reluctance to engage in these conversations, whether from clinicians, patients, or society at large can leave people unprepared and isolated when they need clarity and connection the most.

To my colleagues: Let’s be brave enough to lead these conversations early and often. Let’s integrate palliative care as a standard part of oncology, not as an afterthought but as a parallel track that supports well-being at every stage.

To my patients and their families: Thank you for trusting me, even in the most vulnerable moments. You teach me, every day, what true strength and grace look like.

We owe it to our patients and to ourselves to face death with the same openness and humanity with which we approach life.”

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